My name is Alexandra, but everyone knows me as Lexi. I am 20 years old. And my birthday is December 1st 1991. I already have a daughter that is 2 named Avaah, and a son on the way named Niko who’s suppose to arrive around August 16th. I have been with my boyfriend Matthew since I was 6 months pregnant with my daughter. And he has been by my side ever since. Her biological father isnt in the picture. Avaah calls my boyfriend daddy, and that in fact is her daddy. We have been through hell and back. We have both made some really big mistakes in this relationship. But all of our problems gave brought us closer. And i wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. I dream to go to school as a medical assistant and work my way up to be a midwife. It has always been my dream job, and I hope to get there one day. I used to be really big into soccer and then I got pregnant with my daughter and had to stop. I tried to get back into it after I had it but worrying about her,school, and getting a job. soccer just was not a priority right now. It sucks, but I had to do what I had to do to support my child. I’m currently not aloud to work right now according to my doctor which im not excited about because I have depression and anxiety, and I think if i got a job, and got out of the house a little it would help.
Avaah is so excited to become a big sister. She loves calling for the baby (Niko James) and then pulling my shirt up and giving him hugs and kisses and telling him that she loves him. She does this all the time throughout the day. When she says goodnight to mommy and daddy she usually says goodnight to little brother Niko. She loves going through their room and telling me everything that is Niko’s. She’s always trying to put her stuffed animals in his bassinet and crib and saying that her toys are the babies. Sometimes she worries me though how she tries to climb into the crib.. Other then trying to crawl in her bed she is going to be the best big sister. She really is excited for him to get here, but i know she will be jealous once he arrives. I just cant wait until he is here and she finally gets to meet her brother and then our family is complete.
So it was the morning of our 20 week ultrasound which also means the gender ultrasound. I was so excited to go to this appointment. So we got to the appointment nice and early. Matts mom and sister was meeting us there to watch Avaah while we got the ultrasound done. They called me back to the room and his mom and sister had yet to get there so I just went back while he waited for them to come. She went to start scanning everything and she said she wasnt aloud to tell me the sex of the baby the doctor had to if he wanted to. I was annoyed. But right after she said that she gave the perfect in between leg shot and I look at her and said “oh my gosh, it a boy” she just smiled and said “you didnt hear it from me” I thought that was cool of her to do 🙂 I thought that we were definetly having a girl so I was surprised when i saw the goods. But I was soooo excited. Matt was still not in the room but I was so anxious for him to come back into the room so he could find out. (He wanted a boy so bad) So they scanned me a little more and looked at everything and then finally Matt came into the room. and i said “haha! I know what the gender was” He saw how excited I was so he thought it was a girl. The doctor asked if she should tell him the gender but I told her to just let him figure it out himself. So she gave him the perfect shot, he got the biggest smile on his face and said “OH MY GOD! IS THAT A PENIS?” the ultrasound tech and i just looked at him and smiled. I have never seen Matt smile so much. Tears actually came to his eyes he was that happy. We both sat there and watched the lady scan our little boy. The doctors loved scanning him. They said he was the cutest baby in the world because he was so active and crazy. Thank you to the orange juice i chugged before going in there” lol.. They finished up the ultrasound and the doctor told us everything was great with him. He was perfect size, and everything was proportioned properly. We then left the room and showed the pictures to his sister and mom and they were both super excited that we were having a boy. Reason of this. Matt grew up with 4 sisters so a boy was needed in the family real bad.lol. We then went to my moms work and showed her the picture, she was also really excited that she was having a grandson. Everyone was so excited it was a boy. Of course we had to go out and pick out an outfit for him right away. He was bound to be spoiled!
A month goes by and still no period and I was still feeling pregnant. I started cramping once again so once again off to the hospital. And once again blood work and pregnancy test came back positive. But we already knew that. They wanted to do another ultrasound to check and see what was going on. Once again the normal scan was done were I just lay there half clueless of what was being shown on the screen. And then I saw the best thing I could have seen at that point. I little baby and a beating hurt. Thats when a weight was really lifted off my shoulders but I wasnt getting myself to excited just incase something was wrong. It was so exciting watching the baby dancing around and doing “the running man” which is daddy’s favorite dance. Lol! Matt, and i both look at eachother and said “i think its a boy” for some reason he already looked like his daddy. And big sister Avaah looked at the screen and said “SPONGEBOB!” yup. we apparently were pregnant with a sponge. lol. Unfortunately i didnt get to have an ultrasound picture to keep because their printer ran out of ink. Total bull crap if you ask me. Anyway….we went to the room to wait for the doctor to come and talk to us. I was getting nervous because it was just a month before this that we were in the same spot not hearing good news. But this time the doctor came in and first thing he said was “looks like everything is ok” and explained to me that the bleeding and pain could have been due to my ovarian cysts leaking and causing pain. And he said the back pain was because I have a triangular uterus which means it sits back a little more. Luckily he told me that my uterus being miss shaped shouldn’t effect me with wanting to do a vbac. This was definetly the best news that I could have gotten at this point because I was loosing hope so much. It was awesome to hear that the baby was doing good.
It was late December and everything was going good until one day I started to bleed and cramp really bad. I knew something wasnt right. So I called matt up at work freaking out and telling him we had to get to the hospital and quick. Luckily he got out early and got to take me right away. So we sat around waiting in the waiting room totally scared out of my mind. Luckily Matt was there with me or I would have completely lost my mind. Well, they finally called me back and did all the blood work and the pregnancy test. Obviously those tests came back positive and they were thinking maybe I was having an ectopic pregnancy. Definetly not what I wanted to hear right then. They then did the internal exam and said my cervix was still closed so that was a good sign but they were still worried about the cramping and bleeding so they decided on an ultrasound. The doctors sent matt, avaah and i back for me to get the ultrasound done. They examined everything, most of the things they were looking at I had no idea what they were looking at. They then found the babies little “house” but they didnt see any sign of a baby being there. I couldn’t hold it back anymore, i teared up, I thought I did something wrong and now I was loosing my baby. There wasnt much left for them to say after that. It was horrible getting all my paperwork back and on the top of one of the papers it said “threatened misscarriage” which usually means youre loosing the baby or you lost it already. It was scary. And I was a mess. But Matt was so calm about it and he just kept telling me i was fine and the baby was okay. But at this point I didnt believe it. So then a week went by and I still wasnt getting my period and I still felt pregnant. Unfortunately I then started bleeding. Just thought it was my period arriving and that was it. Later that night i started cramping again which led to being in the hospital again. They ran all the same tests and the pregnancy tests were still coming out positive. And then another ultrasound. Once again they examined everything and i just looked at the screen confused not knowing anything I was looking at. Then they showed the babies “home” and all we could see was the yolk sac. So there was obviously some growing going on in there. The ultrasound tech sounded so confident that everything was okay. I felt so happy and felt like a enormous weight was lifted off my shoulders. We then went back to our room and waited for the doctor to come in and talk to us. Unfortunately she was not as confident as the ultrasound tech. She said they should see a fetal pole by now and there was nothing. I tried and tried so hard to fight back the tears but I couldnt doit. I was so hurt. I just went from being so relieved to my world crumbling. I kept thinking i did something wrong and this was my fault. We left the hospital pretty hurt that night. All there was left to do was hope everything was okay!
So this is probably something i should have started months ago to blog about my journey of pregnancy number 2. It was in December that I woke up and realized that i missed my period. I looked at matt and told him i missed my period and i thought i was pregnant. all he could say was okay, he obviously wasnt as worried about this as much as i was.I pretty much knew what was next and that was taking the test. I was also worried because I was on the mirena birth control which can really harm the baby if i didnt get it out right away. That night we went out to the dollar tree and got like a million tests. i woke up the next morning and still no period, my period was now 2 days late and it was never late so we pretty much knew what the test was going to say. Matt had to work that day and i could not wait until he got home to take the test. So I took the test at home by myself. Of course I wasn’t surprised when i saw that the test said positive. All I could do was sit on the bathroom floor and cry. And then I thought about the birth control being in me still and i got scared. Now it was time to tell Matt, so I called him like 10 times, of course he didn’t answer because he was at work. So then i got tired of waiting so i just sent him a picture of all the tests. As i was sending them he called me and i told him. His first words to me were “well, congrats.You are having a baby” that made me laugh a little. He seemed really nervous but he already knew what the test was going to say, so he was prepared for it. We talked about it for a few minutes and then he had to get back to work. Luckily he didn’t have to work at his second job that day and we went right to planned parenthood and got the mirena out.Thankfully I was not that far so they told me that it should effect the baby at all. I was so happyone of the 2 million tests that i took.